Posts Tagged ‘kale’

Kale – What’s Your Beef With Me?

First there was the kale smoothie blender accident.  I assumed it was all my fault.  Seriously, anyone distracted enough to push down something into a moving blender has no one to blame but themselves if they get injured in the act.  Don’t get me wrong, I tried my hardest to find some way to put the blame on my kids, husband and/or the blender.  I tried, but ended up placing the blame on myself.  Until yesterday….

I was having a nice Wednesday afternoon and decided to make another batch of kale chips.  I had washed and trimmed the kale and put it into (my very favorite) glass mixing bowl. As I turned to walk towards the counter, I slipped on some water on the floor, completely lost my footing and slammed my bowl and head into the cabinet as I fell hard onto my knees.  The bowl shattered, sending glass flying all over the tile floor. I froze for a second, reached up to see if my head was bleeding (only a little) and looked down to see blood pouring out of my thumb and forefinger.  I started to get woozy  and try to think rationally about what to do next.  My two year old came running and I yelled for him to stop so he and his cute little bare feet wouldn’t come any closer to the glass shards.  He started to get upset because I yelled and, calling on all my mama strength, I changed the tone of my voice and told him that mama had a big ouch and there was sharp glass all over the floor and could he please go back into the living room (all the while trying to take deep breaths and not freak out at the blood).

Side note – I don’t do blood well.  At all.  I tried to give blood once and literally passed out when they pricked my finger for the initial blood test.  I also passed out at the doctor’s office during a pregnancy blood draw and earned myself the distinction of doing all my other blood draws (there are LOTS during pregnancy) in the children’s lab work room, complete with cartoon characters and balloons, so I could lay down on the couch in there and stare at Dora instead of the lab tech and needle and vial.

I grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it tightly around my hand,  shuffled the kids into the living room, put on a cartoon (thank you DVR) and laid down until the ‘I’m about to pass out’ feeling’ subsided.

I psyched myself up, went upstairs alone and faced the wounds.  There were two bad ones, but the skin was starting to move back together, so I didn’t think an Urgent Care visit was needed.  I had fresh Hydrogen Peroxide and Neosporin, thanks to our Valentine’s night trip to CVS after the kid’s tooth-meets-forehead incident.  There was a good inch long gash on my right thumb (which has made texting rather impossible) and a 1 cm cut on my forefinger that were both rather messy.  I had about 5 other small cuts on the right hand too, as well as a cut on my calf and elbow.  When I get hurt, I like to go all out.  Come strong or don’t come at all.

I bandaged up, came back downstairs to the kids and decided my mothering for the day was over.  In went a movie for the kids and I crashed on the couch with a book.  The kids were in heaven, as movies are typically only watched on Friday nights.  They kinda liked Injured Mama as it meant 2.5 hours of television.  Let’s hope they don’t start deliberately spilling water on the kitchen floor.

So, two really painful and bloody incidents in 6 months, both involving kale.  Coincidence?  Or something more sinister?

What the hale, Kale?

I finally got around to making a batch of kale chips last night and ate them all with my bandaged fingers today.  Take that kale.

Sweet Potato Cashew Kale Chips

Inspired by the Sweet Potato Cashew Cheese from Choosing Raw

1 cup cashews, soaked
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp miso
1/3 cup nutritional yeast
Juice of 1 lemon
1 cup mashed, cooked sweet potato
3/4-1 c water

Add cashews, salt, miso, nutritional yeast and lemon juice to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth.  Add sweet potato and blend to smooth.  Add water and blend.

Mix sauce with 1 head of kale, washed and torn, in a mixing bowl (maybe use plastic bowl 🙂 ).

When kale is coated, spread onto dehydrator trays.

Dehydrate at 110 for 2-3 hours, or until desired crispness is reached.

Notice I’m using my good hand.

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